Sunday, April 29, 2007

reality check at remedy farm

Today is a sad day on the mountain, a day where i’m having to face the reality of my life and my limits. I just sent off an email to the llama rescue folks here in new mexico with the hope that i might surrender my girls to them.
What brought this on is a new development in the plan to have my good friend move here this summer with her 2 children. I’ve been hanging on this potential change in my life like a life preserver...see, i’ve been up here on my own for 4 years and quite frankly i don’t think i can do it much longer. But now there is a chance she may not come...i won’t bore you with the details....but this chance looms large in my world because i have to think seriously about what it is i will do with myself and my herd of various critters in the event i would have to face another winter on my own here...or possibly sell the place! blasphemous, i know, but its on the table.
So as not to feel powerless in the face of my friends uncertainty its important that i live my life as though she’s not coming.....and if she’s not coming the first order of business is to downsize the herd of critters.
i’m cryin’ say the least. I get so damn attached to everybody.
but the llamas are first to go since they aren’t that attached to me. If they get out...say i leave the gate open for 5 minutes on accident...they’re outta here. In the past they’ve gone 5, 6 miles down to the paved highway. Not sure where they’re off to but ...christ.
the sheep on the other hand think i am the sun...its great, sometimes a bit annoying even, but at least i don't have to worry about them just up and leaving.
Also, quite honestly, my older llama is a bitch....seriously. She will spit, bite, thrash, you name it...its just not worth trying to handle her. She spits at the sheep, the cats, the dogs....sometimes if she’s bored she’ll chase the sheep around and scare the hell out of them....its no good. Many the llama person has told me that its likely she was abused. its very out of character for a llama. Her daughter on the other hand is a sweetheart, i trained her myself....good cop bad cop eh?
Someone with more time and patience could probably bring her around...but not me.

So wish me luck while i await the rescue folks’ reply ok?


Dani said...

I don't really know you, and I know you don't know me, but I am deeply sorry about things not sorting out the way you wanted them to. It's a wise person who can see their limits, and act to correct course. You are responsibly placing them with Llama people, so no foul there. Hope they can readily place them for you. Hope spirit brings you what you need to sustain you, and help you live the life you wish to live, where you want to live it.

Rosie said...

I'm really, really sorry to hear this, Erin. I know you were really looking forward to her coming to stay.

I know "the hard part". You do have to figure out exactly how much you can handle both physically and financially. If the llamas are using too many resources and not giving enough back, they must go. That mean one, I would have had her happy ass at the sale barn probably long ago. Maybe you can keep the sweet one and get rid of the other...she is probably leading the younger one astray.

If rescue can't take her, you should probably just sell her. I know it's hard...Betsy and I both get very attached but you do have to make these decisions.

Another thing you might look into is having your county farm agent come out and see if there are some programs you qualify for. You are a minority/disabled farmer. There is probably help out there for you, you just have to go apply for it. You may need to sign up for the NAIS program to qualify, but that's free...if a bit of a pain in the butt.

Anytime you want to start getting that website offer still stands.

Big hugs...

seeley said...

indeed sorry to hear of this. will be able to finally post mail tomorrow, and would like to call and check in. hang in there, sq

erin ambrose said...

her rosie! I've thought about getting rid of the mean one but then i would have to replace her since frida would be left on her a lone llama is a sad sad llama...kind of like donkeys.
and as far as selling them...i have been trying to give them away for free for the last couple months with no luck. llamas have become a bit like dogs....theres too mny and not enough folks that want them! Which is why the good folks at the rescue might not have room...don't know yet. The woman who runs it has told me some horrific rescue stories...eeee.
and thats the other hurdle in trying to find them a has to be a good one.

thanks for re-offer on the website...i havent forgotten!!!!

erin ambrose said...

seeley! i look forward to a gem in the mailbox...always a treat...and yes by all means give a call whenever.

erin ambrose said...

and one more thing on what rosie said about the animals earning their keep, its so true....whats had me debating the llamas vs.the sheep for a while is that the llamas do earn their keep for their cost(unlike the sheep, i could a have bought a mountain of fleece for the cost of feeding them!)...they guard the place really well, always let me know if a predator is about, their poo is fucking amazing, won't burn plants, they're neat and tidy, light on the land and don't eat much.....
but like i said, they're not very least the mean one isn't...and yr right about her leading the young one astray. and being mean to the sheep is just riduculous.
so maybe if in the end my friend does get up here to live we will adopt a couple of freindly ones....who knows.
for now i'm looking into a sheep dog to guard the least it won't also eat the precious grass!!!!either that or i'll have to get old school and hand out in the pasture myself with a crook and and a flute....ha.

Jbeeky said...

I hate being in limbo and yours is up there on the heirarchy of needs. Shelter, food, etc. is a bif ball to just wait and see on. I am thinking of you and hope you get the news you want.