Thursday, April 28, 2011

the best chicken.

video
i'm a total chicken nerd...i know. (video is a close up shot of my wellsummer chicken in my arms then i set her down on the ground and she walks away.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

internalized.


I’m always surprised when people give me a chance. Trust me. Are interested in me as a person. 
Why? I’m no good. Only looking out for myself, really.
 Really.
Believe me when I say this.

Surprised when someone smiles, says love you!
Me?
No no…I’m a nasty bitch, really.
I’ll cut you down to size when yr back is turned
Cut you loose with the flip of a transient on my way switch.
Don’t mess. don’t trust me
I’m only looking to get to tomorrow.


catching my breath


So here I am in the middle of nowhere. Relatively speaking.
Cholla like trees here.
Lizards wait and watch.
My foot steps the loudest thing here.
 Crunch crunch crunch.
The gate latch.
 Clachunk.
Wind mill sounds like weeping.
The wind like ocean waves
Ravens cutting the sky.
The dry and endless sky.
Been here for a couple days and I’ve just gone between the bed, the kitchen and the courtyard.
Exhausted. Unwell. Dragging my body from place to place light headed breathing shallow.
The silence makes me sleepy.
Occasionally I weep for just a minute and it gets drawn into the breeze diluted and then lost to the open sky.
no cars.
No laundry, cleaning or mystery fumes. No humans speaking or making noise. Just space and air.
And my dog. i love my dog.


And just like that its raining.
The smell of damp earth fills my parched head and lungs makes me feel a bit queezy with the dank  weight of water.
I feel relief.
Relief for the coyotes and birds.
For the trees and the cracked land
I feel tired
The skies low and heavy blanket saying
Sleep now poet
You just sleep now.




*photo is a close up color shot of  the brown, dry cracked high desert ground. there are a few smalls clumps of stubbly grass spaced apart here and there.

retreat

i went out to this place outside moriarty n.m. for a handful of days, a little house...well, huge compared to my old house in chacon but you know, a good size, comfortable but not fancy or pretentious in any way. Its on a few acres but backs up against a vast expanse of high desert. for me it was a desperately needed break from all kinds of pollution. the air was amazing. a writers retreat is what Lisa wants it to be sustained as and for that i think its just perfect. no internet, which scared me a little but wow, it was really nice to free up my brain from the web. felt like a detox, on lots of levels.....and i wrote a bunch altho nothing got finished exactly. i wasn't there long enough! i want to go back.
i so enjoyed packing up my little car and heading out there with my dog . I loved that it was only 70 miles away, all on back roads.
some of what i wrote are basically blog posts but since i was webless i had to store them away for later so i'm posting them now!!!! of course i'll post the bigger pieces and poems as well when it feels like they are " finished". deepest thanks to Lisa Gill and her mother for making my stay there possible.

Friday, April 15, 2011

getting some air with agatha

video

one of my - not losing my shit while i live in the city- damage control tactics is to try try try to get out of the damn city and walk/sit in the open, humanless spaces. agatha loves it too. its wild how distinctly different i feel when i drive back into town. like i've got a sheen of resilience around me. particles of quiet breathing accumulated in the woods.
* video is at first of my dog agatha, who is white with black eye patches and floppy ears, sitting with me in the woods on a sunny day, then a view of the creek we are next to as well as the big trees all around the creek.