Sunday, March 23, 2008

springy farm stuff

everythings a buzz here...firmly in the 70's, lots of wind and budding everything!

one of my chickens died, a mystery death. she was my little chantecler, a rare canadian chicken. so inhonor of her i took some photos of the other girls. i've got more pullets coming in a month or so!heres my delaware hen, she's very top.and this is my columbian wyandotte, a chunky bird! she tends to get picked on.and finally heres one of my wellsummers, they lay the most gorgeous dark brown eggs, slightly speckled.
I've finally gotten around to sorting the tons of fleece i have...this is from a full churro ram from over in espanola...its gorgeous!and heres what will be my little house. right now its undergoing some heavy renovation. it sits right next to what will be the new sheep pen so that will make me happy.
and last but not least, the beginning of the can't see them but the lettuce, beets and turnips have begun to emerge from the llama poo...yay!
happy spring!

Friday, March 21, 2008

bread and butter

hey there everyone, i'm gonna take advantage of my humble 30 hits a day on this blog and mention that i've opened an online shop of my fiber stuff.....the shop is clled Pitchfork Fiber Arts at is an interesting site to cruise if you like handmade things).
i'll be listing raw fleece, handspun yarns, scarves, rugs and blankets.
I've just started it up so theres only a handful of things right now but i'm adding more every chance i get!

and speaking of yarns, i always appreciate the many different ways that folks find to protest injustice and yesterday i was delighted to find the Granny Peace Brigade, who held a "knit in for peace" at the Times Square recruiting center this past weds which, as you know, was the 5th anniversary of the us occupation of iraq.

so you see, yarns are an important part of everyday revolution.Esp. those that are handspun by little ol' me... so check mine out and get knitting!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

notes on suicide

*this is most likely jam packed w/ triggers*

last night i spoke with a friend on the phone and towards the end of the conversation we stumbled upon the topic of suicide by way of the fact that a mutual friend is in that danger zone.
the topic upsets me...obviously...but it like really really pushes my buttons. and for good reason i guess since i've lost so many to suicide. so many, i'm afraid if i tried to list them i'd forget best to just say many.

its this tight rope i walk balancing complete compassionate sadness and frustrated anger. cuz ya know ...once they're dead ...they're dead. we the living have to cope with it all.
why didn't they call me? why didn't anyone intervene? fuck them anyway for giving up and leaving me this hole to fill. smudged smearing thoughts of maybe some people just aren't meant to live. frantic far flung thoughts blaming everything but them. a victim with the last ditch self determined effort to escape to the land of the dead...or a victim to the end because oppressive force # 8072 certainly pulled the trigger, popped the pill cap or found the vein.
have i forgiven them? was it even their fault? does there need to be a fault?

my ex girlfriend didn't even want to die,not when it came down to the wire. she took a bunch of pills then changed her goddam mind, phoned a recent ex and begged for help. but that recent ex thought it was just more drama...and didn't help. didn't help.
9 days her body sat till a neighbor caught a whiff.
at least her dog stayed by her side.
certainly my tears say forgiven. certainly 9 days screams what the hell is wrong with our sense of community.

we the living have to forgive ourselves our selfishness, our limits. have compassion for the limits of others. sometimes we fall through the cracks.

and humans can be so cruel. and sometimes the cruelty breaks us.
sometimes sunrise just doesn't matter against the dull grey pain. i know this.
its a war.
i know this.

another friend drove herself out of the city, up into the mountains, wandered from her car and died in the forest. they found something like 20 different prescriptions from several different doctors on the floor of her car. certainly this smacks of oppressive force # 8073...some might even call it murder.

if you dig deep enough , every suicide is a murder.

we the living, unbroken or beginning to splinter, stuck here coping with the mess, best face that next sunrise, look around, find the cracks, remember the forgotton and connect. feel everything. because you know, once we're dead...we're dead.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

farm notes: diggin' in the dirt, hurting myself, healing my sheep and learning new skills

spring is here and i'll tell you right now i've nothing too profound to write about.... i've been bustin' ass in the garden. i'm pushing the season w/ out a cold frame so we'll see what actually comes up. i put in romaine and butter lettuce, carrots, beets , turnips, snap peas, echinacea and calendula.
my body is wiped out. the last straw was trying to move this door in the workshop for whatever reason seemed so important at the moment, most likely the heaviest door ever made...ever, all on my own because i'm a stubborn ass and just wanted it done. so now i've a very angry arm, not good for much but hanging loosly in my shoulder socket.
this after days of hauling llama poo and turning beds. i need a steam roller to run me over...that would feel real good.

one of my sheep has a bad cough, she has been prone to this in the past. i've been giving her bits of osha root so we'll see if that helps. i haven't been able to find any info on osha and sheep as far as if its bad for them....?????
her cough is a bit better, not as intense...and she seems alright...

i'm gonna head up to my sheep mentors farm in a couple weeks and watch her shear, hopefully video tape it since she's in her 70's and a master at it and its a dying art. this will be my final lesson before i take the plunge and try it myself, i've even got my own shears.....its scary!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Zapatista Corn!

I was super excited to get this email this morning, so i'm passing it on to anyone that might have a bit of garden space to grow some of this sacred corn and join the fight against gmo contamination of heritage crops. Through NAFTA, the import of gmo corn from the US is threatening the indigenous crops that mayan folks have survived on for generations, and don't even get me started on the economic impact on small farmers. The purchase price, which is a slide scale, is actually a donation to the Mother Seeds In Resistance Project. "... a community-based and directed effort to save the natural or mother corns of the indigenous Maya peoples of Chiapas, Mexico, and to advocate for community-based sustainable agriculture, while raising awareness about the dangers of the North America Free Trade Agreement to heritage seeds and small farmers in both the U.S. and Mexico."
You can buy some of this vital corn seed right HERE!

Friday, March 7, 2008

people comin' up like daffodils... and other random thoughts

i wanted to include some photos of the daffodils but then a huge heavy wet snow storm came and buried them all.

got kissed the other day in town. that sure was a treat. us farmers don't get enough kisses dammit. what made me laugh is how i go a bit stiff like a cardboard cutout whenever someone tries to be physical with me in any way. i'm so unaccustomed to touch. i'm a huge dork.
funny too because back in the day i prided myself on my very aggressive, slutty, topping from the bottom, shock valued persona.....ahhhh but that was a long long time ago.

and the us economy is tanking. home sales have slowed to a crawl, foreclosures are up up up, jobs are disappearing....war is costing us trillions and i've got to battle with the social security department in the middle of all this to try and get my benefits back. fuckers.

but in the meantime, the here and now time, theres folks on the farm which is just so lovely.the farrier and his edible 4 yr old daughter, the old school butch handy-dyke thats fixing up my little house, the farm owner and various friends...its great.
when this snow melts away, which won't take but a day, i'm gonna set up the cold frames over the raised beds in the garden and start lettuce and beets and peas and turnips. new moon is here so now is the time!
nothing makes me happier than getting sweaty working with dirt, mixing in llama guano, raking it smooth, dropping seeds....its a prayer really, a spellcast of hope.

kisses are good but dare i say it...gardening is even better....oh no, how about kisses while gardening , that would be best.
and i'm gonna work on this cardboard cutout issue, i swear...