Sunday, October 9, 2011

random fabulous

me, in my room, where the air is a little more like air...
finished scarves...they are for sale! There are 4 of them. 2 are a bright lemon/lime with dark teal or light blue hand stitching at the ends. 2 are a bit wider and are a medium teal blue woven with an aloe green warp. price range is 40-55 dollars.


soft fuzzy tri-color llama yarn...also for sale...but really/also just showing you all because its fun to show and tell.

and then below are some examples of the gorgeous movement art from Dignidad Rebelde . political art gets me all excitied....






Saturday, October 1, 2011

occupying the occupied and proof theres life beyong traffic and dryer vents.

right now i'm stuck in my room waiting for the neighborhoods fucking laundry to be done but i managed to climb the mountain this morning...well my little car did...
my struggling for oxygen brain has been busy with this whole occupy wall street situation. How with a slight reframing, ok maybe a major rebuild, but with some shift and recentering i would be so much more excited....and you know, its exciting, but i've been digging into my hestitancy around it. my discomfort with the use of the word occupy, since as far as i can tell this is NOT an ironic statement about first nations people reclaiming stolen land and  all the rest of us rising up to dismantle america and fuck nationalism and all that. my discomfort with the american hollywood capitalism induced phenomenon where we...even radical folk...have to fucking NAME everything, coin a phrase, market it and watch it spread. occupy wall street, occupy santa fe, the battle of seattle, another fill in the blank is possible (my snark is showing now but i'm stuck in my room n cranky so...). my discomfort with the  white middle class able bodied core these protests are built on. worry that its a set up... a set up for the rest of us who are uneasy, have criticism. a set up like a western ghost town movie prop....all building fronts no buildings.
i want this to really be something big. thats lasts. that is precisely about a poor peoples uprising that at its core is folks of color and queers and crips...
but white supremacy runs deep. it colonizes. it occupies and re-occupies. and capitalism, hot damn, it'll swallow potential amazingnesss up and spit it back out at us so fast...so fast.
so yeah, shift the base, the message. the heart.

and even here stuck in my room waiting for the laundry fumes to let up, i can feel the collective busy brain, the hive mind. its a good thing.

find myself

standing out in front of the house on the sidewalk at 3 am in my socks and pjs staring up at the sky.
so quiet.
as quiet as it gets here. and the air is almost clean. and theres no people. yet.
eventually i feel the cold from the pavement creeping into my feet.

i know i'm not doing well when  i do stuff like this.

with the sun comes the cars, and laundry fumes...its saturday. a big laundry day for people.

i'm scheming for a refuge, which ultimately cannot be the sidewalk at 3am.

if i could get a little land with a scrappy little cabin i would. i fantasize about it being this resource to share with other chronically ill folks i know. consider doing this whole online i'm a good cause fundraising thing that seems to kinda work for folks but i just can't seem to get it together.
possibly because deep down i'm not convinced that i am...a good cause.

or i've got too much stubborn trashy pride.
right...in my socks, on the sidewalk.

the other refuge/recovery idea is a little rv. like an old toyota. but i wonder about the triggering -living in a car-factor and if i'll actually make use of it and if it would actually be helpful.

slammed lately. a short dirty (but scent free!)laundry list: unable to board a flight to oakland to see friends, or even do mundane things like errands or eating out or grocery shopping. discovering my father died, i happened to do a google search for his absent ass and found his obituary. serious neck pain...seriously. nothing gets done.  now my cat is missing...i got her when i first moved to the mountains, she's been with me for all of it. seems the city has swallowed her too.

oh sigh. insomnia does not wear well on me.

gonna put some shoes on and get in my little car now and drive. get over the mountain before the sunrise and keep the quiet with me.
xo