Thursday, July 30, 2009


2 weeks old.

a long way to go.

i've the chest of a 12 year old boy.

friend says i need to watch out for all the chicken hawks.

moving through the world very carefully. wide eyed.

trying to learn to stand up straight.

i need new clothes. none of mine fit anymore.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Silence, they say, is the voice of complicity. But silence is impossible. Silence screams. Silence is a message, just as doing nothing is an act. Let who you are ring out & resonate in every word & every deed. Yes, become who you are. There's no sidestepping your own being or your own responsibility. What you do is who you are." ...Leonard Peltier.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

bound in berkeley

hey look i'm sitting up...relatively alive and well. tired...i get tired like someone flipped a goddam switch. today i get my sutures out which then means i can shower for the first time since the 13th. yum.

the binder is itchy and way too tight and i spilled soup on it just to add to the charm.

i bought a little cheapo video camera before we left so we could document much of this whole ridiculously gloriously righteous trashy crip undertaking. as soon as i figure out how to, i will post clips. the camera has been great for comic relief in the midst of -very- trying circumstances so don't expect anything too deep...seriously.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

saying goodbye to boob gear.

i did my going out of town laundry today. when i was hanging the clothes on the line i found myself pondering the many contraptions i've used to hold up smoosh down strap in and contain my breasts. I realized that in so many days i'll no longer need them. i won't miss them.
Then remembered and mourned a moment the well crafted leather pervyslut halter top i've yet to have the occasion to wear.wondering if i can sell it on ebay or much...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

scraping life together in the face of this (could contain triggers)

First I want mention how shitty i think this reporting is.then i want to mention how these murders spotlight the vulnerability at the intersection of poor and trans and first nations. or should i say classism, trans-phobia and racism. they also spotlight how much fucking work there is to do and the urgency of it all. its not just theory, or a good poem, or a workshop.

heavy on my heart, and a screaming need to change this.

Looking at whats on my agenda, consider my fortress. why its there. why i need it, why i need to leave it and find others.

fuck.i used to live in a shitty apt. on the 500 block of maple SE.

Another Cross-Dresser Found Dead

By T.J. Wilham
Journal Staff Writer
Three cross-dressers have been found beaten to death on the city's Southeast side in the past four years.
Two of the men were found in the past month.
All the victims were apparently American Indian, and their bodies were lying in the middle of streets or alleys.
But police said Monday that they have no information to lead them to believe the three homicides are related. Investigators said two victims were prostitutes. The latest deaths occurred in a neighborhood just east of Presbyterian Hospital, three blocks from each other.
"At this point, it is still very early in the investigation to determine if there is a correlation between these homicides," Albuquerque police spokeswoman Nadine Hamby said. "As this investigation continues, we will see if there is a link. Because they were all dressed as women doesn't mean they were all related, but we can't rule that out, either."
The latest killing occurred Saturday when police found Teri Benally, 42, beaten to death shortly after 1 a.m. in the 500 block of Maple SE. Investigators said they do not have a motive in the killing, but believe Benally was meeting someone he met online.
Benally was found three blocks from where Fredrick Watson, 32, was killed June 9. Watson was dressed in women's clothing. Investigators are looking into the possibility that Watson was killed by a customer. According to court records, Watson had four prior prostitution arrests.
Ryan Shey Hoskie, 23, had three prior prostitution arrests when he was found beaten to death in January 2005 in the 1600 block of Ridgecrest SE. Hoskie was partially clothed in women's attire.
Janice Devereaux of Transgender New Mexico Support Group said many transgender prostitutes become victims when they don't make their sexuality clear and their customers "don't realize what they are getting into" and retaliate.

Monday, July 6, 2009

more new mexico poetry...

I'm passing on a video of local poet Hakim Bellamy. I've had the privilege of seeing him perform many times over the years here and when i stumbled upon this video i thought i'd share it w/ y'all...enjoy!