update on the home search...and some garlic

well, i saw the inside of what i'm calling "the chacon house". a bit overwhelming. between the mothball smell that has permeated absolutely everything and the general cheapness and panelling and bad framing jobs(half the house is actually frame)....it needs to be completely gutted. while there are pipes coming up throught the floor where the kitchen would be, there is no kitchen,no sink, no cupboards, no hot water heater. theres holes in the ceiling/roof where woodstoves used to be but no woodstoves, the elec wiring is minimal and ancient....etc.
the bathroom scared me...and i don't scare easily.
i can't even get myself to post interior photos...

anyone out there wanna come help me gut this house??? re-wire it????

so...ugh....again i come to terms with this being all i can afford and how it flies in the face of why i'm selling this place which was some hope of finding a bit of ease and comfort which i need and deserve...ha.

i've been considering moving back home to new york since land is frighteningly cheaper than here...and theres water...and my mom and sisters and old friends. but then wow...thats only a 2200 some mile journey...sigh.

anyone out there wannna make a road trip with me from new mexico to new york????

so, the head spin continues, and time is running out! altho the very sweet women buying this place have agreed to let me stay past closing, i still feel compelled to get on with it as i can. i worry it will just be too sad to still be here and yet not be mine...too sad.
at least if i bought this beast of a house down the road i'd be able to stay here while i gut it and get to work on it....i feel another sigh coming....

in other news...i pulled some garlic up yesterday...i love love the live earth and garlic smell. makes me happy and still for the moment its up against my nose....ahhhhhh.