Sunday, February 18, 2007

a spinsters life

ahhhhh....the ups and downs of an environmetally ill, only child, scorpionic spinster life. Today i have visitors coming. Its the first time in 6 months there will be human bodies in my home. And this is a good friend, and accessible! She's been scent and chemical-free for years.
Needless to say I'm really excited. When i woke up this morning it was like freakin' christmas.
now, my visitor is coming a long way...and as it turns out she's getting a late start this mornig and probably wont be here till midday which is a couple of hours later than had been discussed the night before.This means that my 6 hour day with human company will only be 4 hours. And on the phone with her this early a.m. i feigned indifference....pouted a bit like a child in some sort of mockery of my deep churning dissapointment to be losing a couple of hours of humans in my home. When we got off the phone i sobbed like a 5 year old that just lost some knee skin to the driveway......ohhhhhhhhhh......the pain. But it gave me this sobering view into the vast pool of -holding it together- that collects in my gut. How well i store loneliness and tap into all my -never very popular only child- skills.

I've been pleading with the mountains for a while now....please let the weather be kind when the humans come to visit!!!!!
pleeeeeaaaaaasssse. The wind just needs to bite her tongue till sundown...then she can let it rip all she wants.Last thing i want to do is scare off some city folk visitors with the harsh reality of high mountain climate.

and now i must get to cleaning the house....its such a different chore when its for others comfort.

1 comment:

Rosie said...

God, I know that feeling. I find myself talking too much when I suddenly am around people after being alone for long stretches of time.