I'm trying my best to be present with my time here, instead of blocking it all out and/or just concentrating on the bad things in order for the leaving tol make sense. both of those are tricks i learned as a child that moved a million times.
i can finally sit out in the grass or in the woods without crying...which is nice. sometimes i feel my eyes get hot and i may choke a bit but thats all. it seems to be about letting go of ideas, my ideas of what my future was going to be....ya know, like dying here and being buried on the land.
anyway, heres the last of the garlic. i fucking worship garlic. esp. right now since the crappy clinic did a horrible job on a filling of mine and now theres an abcess and they want to do a root canal. which medicaid doesn't pay for, and i'm like "no way" so i'm all about cleaning my blood.....and that there pile of gorgeousness is a whole bunch of blood cleaning just waiting to happen.
and heres a sampling of flowers from the pasture. I'm so happy to have sunflowers again now that the llamas are gone!!! they ate em all....maybe next year the women buying the land will get the beauty of the wild iris, which the llamas also ate.
and heres marcos...the big man i call him. i don't see him very often but when he decides to grace us with his presence, this is usually what he does....typical.