i've long since stopped posting photos of each property i get all excited about only to have it not work out for one reason or another.
that last being an overpriced adobe on a 1/3 of a freakin' acre over on the radioactive yet yuppified side of the mountains between taos and santa fe. radioactive because when that huge fire ripped through los alamos labs back in 2000 or so, the very radioactive smoke plume drifted up an over and blanketed the mountain communities to the northeast of the labs. folks have tested their garden veggies as well as the dust in their homes to find it all highly contaminated.....yet the price of land continues to soar. testimony to the illusionary rip off that is real estate and the pretense of "lifestyle".
anyway....i close on my place here on the 10th of august. still with no destination confirmed.
today i'm of the mind says i should try to buy a piece of raw land outright, then get a yurt and build a little barn for the critters. wouldn't have plumbing but i'd be a little closer to the cities(poetry, food, friends) and i wouldn't have any debt hanging over my head or cutting into my fixed income......this is todays plan....tomorow could be completely different.
my mom keeps reminding me that wanting plumbing and friends nearby and enough food to eat is not asking too much. its good she reminds me of this because i do start to get lost in the swirl of internalized poverty crap to the tune of poor people don't get those things, and what do i expect when i never finished college and i've been on disablilty for a million years and i've never had a credit card and i haven't had a legitimate job since i was 21 years old and i'm crazy and sick and what do i expect????plumbing and food and community????? silly woman.....
so you see moms words are what i need.....its not too much to ask for a decent quality of life. and so so many don't have enough food or running water or intact community...
at least i'll have a chunk of cash...although its obviously not enough to buy a home. i'm going to go to a bank tomorrow and see if they will lend me anything at all. i don't have much optimism around this, but at least i'll know for sure. i tried to get my free credit report yesterday and apparenty i don't have credit. not bad credit, just none at all. i don't exist in credit world. which on one level is just fine...cuz fuck this whole having to prove your worthy of going into debt by perpetually owing money and paying it back...with interest.
its a racket...the whole thing.
there has got to be a better way. something far more usefull and clever to do with this nest egg i'll have.
i just don't know what that is.
and times' a tickin'.