it always upsets me when a chicken dies.
i've only actually lost 2 chickens in the 2 or so years i've had them...which doesn't seem too bad...? both have died when i've been away visiting the city. i come home and just happen upon a chicken body. no sign of attack or injury. just dead. and i just stand there with my mouth hanging open.
all the other chickens just keep on keepin' on...i mean, what else are they gonna do?
i guess thats true w/ all species, including humans.save for the way we get caught up in grief.
not much grief goin on in chicken world.
apparently thats my job.
this one that just died was one of my wellsummers. gorgeous, huge, speckled eggs. i called her my crooked chicken.at some point months ago she got in the way of a dog stampede, was unable to walk for about a week and recovered but since then her body bent at a sharp angle at the base of her tail. these past couple of months she'd been picked on pretty badly by the others. her comb would be a bloody mess. i'd find blood droplets all over....i wondered if she was picked on for being crooked? or ill? is that just me applying human ableism to chickens?sigh....
in other news, my goddam birthday is coming up this friday. i wish i could somehow make it not important...but at this point its become some sort of symbolic litmus test for my life, my level of isolation and my community...or lack thereof. fucking ableism and poverty...i swear. i mean, my friends/family that are scattered around the globe will call or email to say hello but whats sorely lacking is actual human contact. oh blah....self deprecating thoughts don't wear well, grief makes me look tired...and older....silly birthday. maybe i'll invite the chickens in for tea.
they could teach me a thing or 2 about how to keep on keepin' on.