Thursday, August 28, 2008

the evolution of an idea

so theres this semi plan in motion to try and create a living space for me in my good friends sizeable back yard in santa fe. this is likely the only way i'd ever be able to live in a city like santa fe.

the family compound concept is a big deal for a buncha reasons.

i'd be investing money into someone else's property. and its a lot of effort and time and processing.
its also the fact that i'd be giving up the full time farmer thing...for now. I'd be mostly in the city, the noise and business and pollution and lack of space.

the obvious postives are that i'd be able to write more, perform more, ride my bike instead of drive, rest my body a while...and possibly have the chest surgery i'm pining for since i'd have a suitable recovery space and time.
and i wouldn't be so damn isolated.

but ofcourse theres also the harder stuff about co-habitation....esp. among crips, which we both are. and esp. among lovers, which we are as well.
steadfastly polyamorous and not primary...but still...its another level.

and the crip stuff, 2 crips sharing space, conflicts in know, damaged goods shackin' up together can be kinda high maintenence. but for me particularly around e.i and class....i'm aware of the fact that on some level i moved myself up to chacon, on a mountain side, all alone in order to find respite from the constant struggle to have community.the struggle to have any kind of close relationship w/ someone who doesn't have e.i. always theres the blatant disparity between us to navigate. the non-ei's ability to form all sorts of friendships,to go to school, work, events, parties... to just be in public vs. my moderately to predominately homebound life.

on the mountain this was my own business. and i could bury that reality beneath the romantic notion of the spinster/shepherd on the mountain top...or i could try anyway.


But really, before i get too wound up in all the emotional details and logistics...we have to try and ascertain how much the dwelling would cost to create. as usual its economic feasibility first....THEN life decisions.

but i'm finding myself w/ my fingers crossed since it sounds like a potentially challenging, healthy idea....terrifying and who knows if it'll crash n' burn....but right now, it feels worth the leap. its the -fool- card in all its glory.

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