heavy war weary heart

and i'm not even fucking there.

its almost impossible to read anything about war through the mainstream press.
so full of carefully crafted wording and dangerous war-is-okay-because-theres-a-really good-reason lies.

like how they can go on and on about how the military is bombing the crap out of gaza.
words like
"deadliest-ever air offensive"
and
"more than 290 people were killed over two days and more than 800 wounded."
and
" intense bombings — some 300 air strikes since midday Saturday — wreaked unprecedented destruction in Gaza, reducing entire buildings to rubble".

then say
"most of the dead were from the Hamas security forces"

its as though they think, perhaps correctly, that if they use the buzz word "hamas" in every sentence pertaining to the death and destruction it will eradicate any humanity...any human casuality, any suffering.


reason reasons someones always got a reason
"aircraft attacked a building in the Jebaliya refugee camp next to Gaza City, killing a 14-month-old baby, a man and two women"

bombs bombs someones always got a bomb.

and a reason.

for an ounce of the human side of "air campaigns" and "ground invasions" i refer you to laila el haddads blog diary of a palestinian mother. she is in daily, albeit sketchy, contact w/ her family in gaza.

also worth checking out is democracy now's interview yesterday with two Israelis opposed to the assault: Dov Khenin, a Knesset member with the Jewish-Arab party Hadash; and Jonathan Benartzi, an Israeli conscientious objector who spent more than a year in prison for refusing to serve.

hope you all are well and safe and loved.

oh my

its been a long time.

i don't really know where i've been. all over, back and forth...standing still staring into space. catching needed rest and pleasure in santa fe.

its cold. my house is cold. drafty. i wake up at 4 am-ish, its too cold to sleep and my head is like an ice block.i sleep w/ 2 dogs and a cat.

i'm tired much of the time. dizzy. coughing. aching. its really fun. just keeping the wood stove going and feeding all the animals is about all can i get accomplished. but what do expect with a thrift store immune system.

in my head i'm planning where to go and hoping. hoping for more. and singing. i sing a lot. the singing is the important part, the singing is about the change thats coming.

i try and smile at people and be as friendly as i can muster. this seems to help.

rose blanket

ok, heres the latest. its 45"x64". weighs roughly 6 lbs. handspun, as usual. this one is entirely from my dearly missed churro/cotswold sheep. it will be whisked off to its new home tomorrow!
the problem i have w/ photographing weavings is...well, patience....but also that a photo doesn't do it justice. not my work anyway, because my blankets are less about fancy patterns and more about the rich texture of the yarns.the fuzzy nap and lumps and bumps, which implies a 3rd dimension...which isn't captured in the photo. whats also hard to get is the subtle and endless variations in color. and then theres the FEEL of it...being a textile and all that.
perhaps a pro photog could do it better. i'm just a queer with a cheap digital camera and like i said, not a lot of patience.

but all that aside, i'm really pleased with it. its going to be wickedly warm! i love functional art.

i've gone all quiet...

even the incessant talking to myself has ceased. i've been hard at work on my loom to get this blanket done....and i'm almost there.i'll post a photo once its knotted off and ready to go.
also, i'm having lots of eyeball problems where the computer is concerned. blurry, aching...not liking the screen. a bummer since its a definite deterrent to indulging in some sort of blog post story...the other day in the car i had the idea that i'd tell you all about when i was a gothic art-fag lsd addicted malnourished stressed out teenager with a blood letting/sucking fetish...good times...
oh sigh.such a miracle i'm alive.
but hey, it'll make a good story. if my eyes will just let me write it.

and in other news, the recession/depression scares the crap out me.

AND i had to share this clip from democracy now...

Bush Buys Home in Former All-White Neighborhood

And President Bush has bought a new home in an exclusive section of Dallas. Up until 2000, the gated community had a neighborhood association covenant that allowed only whites to own property. The document said the area’s land “shall be used and occupied by white persons only except these covenants shall not prevent occupancy by domestic servants of a different race or nationality in the employ of a tenant.”

now, i know its no big surprise that bush is a unabashed racist ass but still....and can you just imagine what the people are like that live in that gated gleaming white haven???? blech....