right now

i feel most at peace when the wind is calm and the sun is warm and i'm outside tending all the animals.
i feel a sense of place and purpose and connection.
i can then take that peace with me inside with the fire and and the beckoning bath tub
and my lazy cats in the windows basking in puddles of sun.

the future is a jumble of potential scenarios that seriously start to stress me out.

unless i focus on the scenarios that don't....
like turning garden beds,
and sinking my hands into bags full of freshly shorn fleece
and plenty of rainfall
and a swollen acequia
and chiles and squash and beautiful beautiful corn russlin' in a cool night wind.

and everything just falling into place for even just a little while.
a reprieve from the edge of cold high mountain poor.
just a little while. allow me a little comfort.
let me luxuriate in some warm and steady repetition.