how to stay here

and pliable not brittle full of little
cracks
the days im like a ghost wandering through crowds
brittle creeps up
bitter creeps up to break me.

i keep my hands in my pockets.
i keep smiling.

my teeth ache from holding on
brittle full of little cracks

deep inside my pockets i clutch my keys
spare change
and bits of paper say i'm here
i'm fucking here

stomachs bitter creeping says
for what?

for the chance
to feel something

for the something i haven't thought of yet

for a supple bellowing laugh
to drown the bitter in sweet