more air.

Trying to appreciate the land here. And it is truly beautiful to look at. Not so amazing to walk through. In fact, I find taking walks here brings up anxiety for me. Its as though the land screams “ I cannot sustain you!” parched cracked earth, nothing edible, no where soft to even sit and rest. It’s intense. I respect it for its intensity and I’m thankful for the clean air of open space but this land doesn’t welcome or encourage nesting. It’s spiny barbed and fending for its own self, its closer creatures. Humans need to keep moving.

And just like that the rain comes. Heavy and prolonged. Then hail. So loud it drowns out everything else,

the rattling old fridge the semi trucks on the highway. All animals fall quiet and still.

And then just again, the sun.

And steam rising.

Ditches running glimmering in the sudden light.

Sometimes while I’m here I can’t quite believe what I’m breathing. That the air is clean. I have to remind myself to inhale…truly inhale. That it’s ok to do so. In fact, it’s why I’m here. The air feels like cool water down my throat. Like silk lines my lungs. Feathers.