Wednesday, March 14, 2012

pandora picks aaliyah

this song
takes me back
to what seems now like youth into saturn return
and you
and that crappy old car radio with the broken cassette
and all that washboard
and all that open space
and all that dust kicking up into our skin
into that tiny mountain cabin
candles burning hot we would fuck like the earth was opening
then primp for the bar in the flickering light
while the radio crackled and hissed
pop songs
drove steep dirt roads in the night
you kept a baseball bat behind your seat
you held my hips while i danced
this song takes me back
to need heavy
old as the hills butch femme
and revenge
and that old truck that broke your arm
you kept a rag stuffed into the hole where the gas cap shoulda been
you had to the hit the starter with a metal pipe to get it to turn over
i loved watching you pop the hood climb in there and beat that engine
made me wanna turn you over take you back
you pulled femme shine from my stone
like brilliant cholla flowers from santa fe sun

like prayer under my breath
i still ask
for your forgiveness
for my own anger made my breaking drove
our screeching
what i’ve learned from us
how i’ve changed
how together we were fumes and flame
but also climbed into the woods and sat
in wild silence
watched spiders spin webs
laughed at bird song

but you
like aaliyah
are gone now
just memories and spirit
kicking up like dust once
in while when music takes me unawares
turns me over
takes me back
like saturn returning
to you.

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