the wild, the city and me

dreams.
lately i've been swamped w/ dreams. vivid imagery that stays with me for days.
these have been night dreams.
bears and sheep.
dramatic arguments w/ a lover.
landscapes red cliffs rushing rivers.
naked at a bus stop.

last dark i was living in an old matte-black school bus and a storm came and took half the roof off.

but today walking the dogs through the mud and slush, in the warming sun, i was overcome with the memory of the elk.
how every spring in the mountains where i used to live if i was lucky I'd see them
migrating in droves across the green and misty meadow above me.
just stunning. keenly aware that i was the only human seeing this.
one of those moments that stops everything. suspends time and fills it with wonder.

i miss the elk. and the mule deer. the bobcat lolling in the sun across the way.
the coyote yelling at my house in the moonlight. the barn swallows.the red tail hawks. the bears. and the owls...
how the owls call would fill me w/ foreboding, hyper-awareness and an uneasy acceptance of the unknown.

and...the city thing is ok. you know, i like being clean, and mostly having enough to eat and of course having family. these things are huge. and i suspect i'd be enjoying the city even more if it were a city that met more of my needs and desires....politically, socially, poetically. but the family is here so...i persevere.

my years alone with wilderness rattle through me dreamlike. whispering. reminding me to seek out wonder. seek out the things that suspend time.